The following list is an attempt to outline the characteristics of ‘The Loser’ and provide a manner in which women and men can identify potentially damaging relationships before they are themselves severely damaged emotionally or even physically.” () 1. “If he or she hits you, twists your arm, pulls your hair, kicks you, shoves you, or breaks your personal property even once, drop them,” Carver advises.As we’ve seen, Drew Peterson escalated the abuse of his partners.The self-esteem of the sociopath is poorly regulated because the sociopath acts to protect and sustain an inflated, but ultimately fragile and unstable sense of self.Emotion regulation is compromised by difficulties in experiencing, processing and moderating certain feelings, most especially anger, shame and envy.Sociopath women are present among us, in some of our families and social groups, in some of our workplaces and in the public eye, throughout history and in literature.They may be fewer in number than male sociopaths and viewed with less fear but do we have cause to be concerned about them? At it's core is a pathological level of narcissism.The most important self-defense against psychopathic seducers consists of recognizing the initial warning signals so that you can escape the relationship early on, hopefully before you’re seriously harmed. Joseph Carver has put together a helpful and instructive list outlining the early symptoms of a dangerous relationship with a psychopath, or as he puts it quite aptly, with “a Loser.” As we’ve already seen in the previous account of Drew Peterson’s behavior, not all the signs of psychopathic seduction are obviously negative.But, as we’ll see, even the symptoms that seem positive (such as the instant attachment and over-the-top attention, flattery and gifts) are in fact negative.
If there's one thing these cold, calculating ladies can teach us, it's that we're captivated by the female sociopath.Relationships with other people are generally dysfunctional because the sociopath tends to protect and enhance their own self-esteem at the cost of cooperative relationships and intimacy.The sociopath’s actions are often determined by the dominance of aggression over shame.They often show marked paranoia, experience shallow emotions and lack sincerity.It is thought that sociopaths (some use the term psychopath) constitute one to four percent of the population.